The things I think and do not say. Thoughts of believing the things that I believe.

I was about to love my job and then this shit happened. The exact particular shit I demise the most. The most dreaded. The most awfully worst of the lot.


It all has occurred to me before. Once, twice. I don't know. Rare but very much prominent.

I'd seen many faces and places. During my younger days and now that I have gained some experience in my life, both personally and professionally. Yes, it ain't perfect yet I can handle it more than I think I should. Hard times, good times, bad times and best of times. No. Scrap best. I still believe that the best is yet to come. Am still seeking and searching for it.

What I learn so far is this. Its not really the money that matters the most. Its not really the position or rank that makes you stand out from the rest. Its not the materials nor is it the praises you have collected along the way. Not really that. In order to have strength and willpower to strive thru everything, passion is the most elemental. The most important. The most vital. The most matter of it all. I am here right here, right now because of my great passion towards the thing I like and enjoy doing the most. I like the stuff I do everyday. The hardwork and sheer persistence and patience I deal with every single day. I say 'no' to things I wanted to say no to. And I say 'yes' as fast as I could towards the things I am most passionate about. That is what I call integrity. Having a stand. To be firm in my every decision and to be final about it. Brave. Bold where no others dare to do so.

Some say I move from one work to another to casually. Without thinking of the consequences, without thinking about the risk and failure that comes with it. Well, for those who thinks so, I made the move because I do care about my future. Its a charismatic thing. When you think about the money and cash too very much (which I think many people nowadays believe so that it is that important), I am at the opposite side of the system. The different side of the equation.

Money does not buy you stuff. It only bare you the idea and feeling that you owned that stuff. Yes, there is that sense of belonging that it is yours. But truth be told, one day (if you're 'lucky'), it will be gone. Some might even disappear without you even knowing or noticing it. Stolen. Missing. It will get rusted, old even. Because it is bought and purchased with money. Things which are 'owned' by money does not last forever. So, for me, let just leave money being money. I don't care what other people say of this, but money is everywhere. It is not rare. It is not scarce. It is definitely not special. Not in my books, at least.

Hence, respect is obtained and gained through passion. The passion and level of intimacy I put on to my work. My 'labor of love'. The hardwork I do everyday, not anyone can do it and nailed it as much as I can. The result might be the same but the outcome is absolutely different. I work for the benefit of the people who respect me and share the same passion and feeling that I do. To see them enjoy and having fun by reading my work is the best feeling one person can have. The sincerity. The undivided attention. I do not ask much but respect is what I really meant here.

I couldn't escape one simple thought for what just happened today. I hated it. It was wrong. Wrong to say it to me, let alone saying it out loud to me. In my face I hated that place just now. Had so much to say and no one to listen.

And then it happened. It was the oddest, most expected, deja vu thing ever.

I began writing. Hard. I have to make a statement. A suggestion for all the posers. The future of me that some fail to see. A time like this doesn't come along very often. I seized it.

The key to this life is passion. Suddenly, it was all clear. The answer was all so clear. Fuck money. Caring for me and caring for my future is what important.

I didn't care. It was the me I'd always wanted to be. The respect tha I rightfully own and win thus far.

And I believe that is the way I want to go.

Respect for my passion.