For the past few months now I've felt ugly. Ugly and guilty. I mean that in a physical and emotional sense. Maybe it's the extra weight I've PURPOSELY put on since I began working. Maybe it's the slumpy face I found in front of my mirror every morning and night. Maybe it's the lack of social outings I get with my friends(barely none since last year). Maybe it's the way my hair is. Maybe it's my busted heart and maybe it's my wreched guts: Who knows? I look at myself today and I 'almost' hated what I saw. How did I get this way? I've always felt comfortable with myself. Now I feel like I need an affirmation... for what?!

So after about nearly 30 minutes of deep thinking and re-thinking, it hit me hard... I'm a FIGHTER, damn it!!! This is not how a fighter should act! I got so angry and furious with myself. Why did I need someone or something to make me feel good? Shame on me. I refuse to be that kinda person. You know the ones which constantly need their ego stroked in order to feel good about themselves. That's not me.

I think I'm going to do something I've never done before. I think I'm gonna get a NEW hobby. Yup! A fresh and intrepid one.

Which doesn’t reflect my actual “demographic” to this day, even though I’m living a fine life.

I'm just being deliberative