Khamis, Oktober 27, 2005


Day after day of unrelenting rain. And I've been sitting here in my fortress of solitude, relieved that this must be somekind of precursor sign from the Almighty.

Getting a lot of people asking me if the “bulan puasa” have impacts on my past and current life. I answered this extensively elsewhen and elsewhere and am basically reproducing it here so I don't have to keep saying it. And I stress that this is merely my thoughts on the matter, not anyones.

The Answer : Yes ( Sebenarnya aku sayang giler nak tinggalkan Ramadhan. Banyak sangat citer yang aku simpan dan dapat setiap kali bulan suci penuh keramat ni datang. Tanya ler sapa ajer yang tahu pasal aku dan 30 hari penuh pengisian yang datang hanya setahun sekali )

I'm posting an entry from further down memory lane because we're coming up on the deadline for Syawal 2005. So what do you have to do when all this nostalgia kicks-in? It’s not simple, really. Suggest a figure like myself to be a ghost from the past and trying to live for the future. Making up for old sins.

Never fear.

I tell you this in the strictest confidence. In fact, this is so secret that ONLY YOU readers of this blog; are witnessing. Yes, you. Everyone else is seeing the timid-superficial side of me. In fact, if you're seeing me everyday right now, it'd be best if you just shut yourself from me until after Hari raya. Unfortunately, this doesn’t make any sense for those who don’t know me at all.

Know what I think? I think if people are happy with me making them happy and I say it’s all fine... God bless them. There are so many people in my life who are laboring at things that they despise about me. Seriously, where on earth does ANYONE get off slip-slapping people who are living out their dreams, the dreams of writing the stuff I grew up with? And by the way, having the sheer nerve and determination to brave the staggering odds of breaking in to be able to achieve those goals deserves far more than a dismissive "critiques". It deserves a "well done you" and "welcome to the club" and "stick with it". It doesn't deserve snottiness and arrogance and the snip-snapping bullying of the jock mentality which these people display with such vigorousity.

And how about the notion that the people who achieved their goal of crafting new directions and ideas for the Malaysian comic industry achieved their current station in life without stepping over the bodies of friends in order to do so? Go figure it out, people.

Producing a brand new magazine with some superhero tales is what makes me entirely happy ( look for more scribe from me in 2006 ). Producing my own concept and stylized stories is what makes other people happy. One is not intrinsically more cowardly than the other. Frankly, it's as if they had a great way to end this unruly episode and had to stall for time until they got to it. Still, it's not as if I'm going to stop watching and observing at this point. But not the strongest attempt by a longshot. I'm sorry, but I simply cannot accept the idea that some people are crashing up against each other. That's pretty much what I'm here for, and certainly the fact that it's been extremely busy for me, this is far better than just sitting here with nothing to say .

Just one opinion to share with. Hope to see you all here for my Hari Raya testimonial next time.


Khamis, Oktober 20, 2005

a miracle happened last night.

(somebody told me once that patience is a virtue. And though i soldier on,these feeling in my heart... I've held it long enough!)

"A hundred days had made me older,
since the last time that I've saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder and...
I don’t think I can look at this the same

But all the miles had separate,
They disappear now when I’m dreaming of your face.

I’m here without you, baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby,
but your still with me in my dreams
...and tonight it’s only you and me

The miles just keep rollin
as the people either way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
but I hope that it gets better as we go

Everything I know and anywhere I go...
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls,
when it’s all said and done
it get hard but it won’t take away my love."

- Here Without You

Jumaat, Oktober 14, 2005


"Aku tidak tahu sama ada memang aku salah seorang darinya ataupun hanya ilusiku dalam realiti yang hampir sirna(hilang)" - Ju`an Einriqie

Mereka kata...
Lihatlah itu pujangga cinta
Tatapilah puisi sendirinya
Mengertikanlah isi hatinya

Baitnya menenangkan perasaan,mencungkil pemikiran dan berlalu di luar garisan. Ia serupa impian dan pula langsung menjadi harapan. Tuhan telah menciptanya dari sejarah yang sedih... mencorak seorang penyair. Lihatlah di cermin ada siapa? Tatapilah hasil kesepian. Mengertikanlah hati kesendirian.

Dia kata... aku jadi tika di dalam bait. Hidupku berjalan melompat falsafah diri, berbeza atas pengertian seni. Suratan malam hadir sebelum ia dihantar dari bulan bersama kesamaran yang ditinggalkan. Memang Tuhan mencetuskan aku dari tiada.

Dia kata pada mereka... jangan terlalu memuja penyair cinta ini. Dursila siri telah meragut segala suci dan aku hanyut sesat lalu dikaram tangan ini. Masih lagi aku mencari erti dalam kata diri, menjadi 'aku' yang telah tertulis di dada langit, mencari jawapan akan segala yang terjadi. Kepada seorang buta mencari jalan kembali.

Pimpinlah dia duhai para pendita hidup.

12 Ramadhan 1426 Hijrah
Pukul 12.35 tengah malam

Jumaat, Oktober 07, 2005

I Could Only Clone Myself
(posted with much dignity and respect)

How do ‘they’ do it?

Ok. Maybe I’m just really slow, really lazy or just plain dumb ...actually, I know I’m not any of those things, so how do they do it!?

I’m referring to some of my mates here at work that put out their stuff so much more often than I can.

Am I jealous? You bet I am!

"The influences and the tone of our department will change and lead the industry throughout the coming years. I’m very delighted because that's a great thing. I think that our overwhelming enthusiasm and love for this project will shine through."

Bold words from one of my superior. I guess I’m not in par with them, and no : I think it’s not the fasting month.


Isnin, Oktober 03, 2005


Many things to mention, and not much time to blog, so forgive me if this is a bit bitty and scattershot.

( Long, vaguely irritating day, mostly because I didn't get enough sleep last night and have to fly off to the office quite late. )

The weird thing about this blog is the way that questions come in about things I keep meaning to talk about. It's been happening for years now, so you'd think I'd get used to it, but I never do. For example, this past weekend I wound up having a long conversation with my friend and then with another about making sure that people didn't think that I have a girlfriend or crush on some non-existent girl. So, a good and timely question. The answer is still and will always stay NO until I make any official announcement ( sooner or later,korang tau jugak kan??? )

I'm pretty sure that I've talked about my KISAH CINTA elsewhere on this blog, so I'll leave it as an exercise for you to find it.

It's odd --- I do run into people ( particularly ex-classmates or coursemates, for some reason ) who believe that that my writing is impenetrable, and uses lots of 'long words'. I was taught, growing up, reading people like the day and night that come and go, that the secret of good writing was clarity and; where possible, simplicity, and that the aim was, above all... communication. By all means I will use any word(s) I want, as long as it's exactly the right word for what I need to say. Tak payah faham pun takpe actually sebab aku nak test brape ramai yang faham,tak faham,buat-buat tak faham,langsung tak nak faham atau malas nak faham dengan apa yang aku tulis.

Sorry about that. I love the idea of more free time and quality thoughts to think about companionship , but it hasn't happened yet. It probably won't happen until I found the absolute inspiration and total encouragement for it.

Right. Thanks for those who still understand.

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