Sunyi dan sendiri aku menatap diri


Saat detik-detik berdiri menyeruak tanah-tanah ini yang kering, mereka masih...tertancap dengan tegak seperti patung
yang hidup dalam keramaian
Lalu terbuat dari apakah kenangan itu?
Seperti daun-daun yang menguning tersungkur
dari pepohonan dan tertiup waktu menuju masa y
ang nanti hilang di antara bulir-bulir debu

Kerana hidupa aku hanya adalah terdiri sunyi

Aku reguk sunyi dari guguran gerimis
yang menggugurkan rindu dari biasan di mata
kesedihan-kesedihanku bergegas,
berarak seperti awan
yang menyapu luka dari landasan jantung
maka,
jika angin bercerita tentang nafasku yang terbang
meninggalkan rumah yang tiada rintih itu
ingatlah gerimis yang selalu mempertajam sepi
di situ airmata sudah memanjang menjadi sungai sepi
menghanyutkan kekesalan ke luka yang entah bila akan sembuh

Gambar dan warna-warna menyala di kepalaku
aku di kejar peradaban manusia
dari kisah-kisah percintaan Rumi dan Juli... Laila dan Majnun
menjadi jaguhan hati dan terus terbang ke langit
atau apa-apa yang menenang hati
Kisah itu menjadikan aku sebagai manusia ‘sakit’
dan mimpi menang kuis satu khayalan.

Ada darah di mata.
Belati dan paha-paha menganga siap di terkam.
Ada letusan api di telinga, mengerang dan jeritan
di kaca ilusi ada wilayah luka yang paling terbuka
ini menyulapku menjadi patung,

Sehingga ini.

I'm a big fan of M. Night Shyamalan and his movies. While I didn't hate THE VILLAGE like many people did, I would agree it was his weakest effort (but I'll take his weakest movie over most "scary" movies any day). I'm not surprised that following the disappointing reception to THE VILLAGE, Shyamalan is switching things up this time around. After making his last four movies with Disney, Shyamalan has shifted to a new studio setting his next film at Warner Bros.


The film, LADY IN THE WATER.


It follows a building superintendent who one day finds a sea nymph in the apartment complex swimming pool. Whether the film is a suspense film, a horror film, a drama, a romance or any and all of the above remains to be seen. Many expected Shyamalan to next direct an adaptation of the novel LIFE OF PI but that project seems to be put off for the time being. Shyamalan said in a statement,

"LADY IN THE WATER is a personal movie with a big idea, and it seems just perfect for Warner Bros. I'm thrilled they responded to the story, and we all can't wait to get started."

It will get started this August in Philadelphia for a July 2006 release.Oh-oh... isn't the same point where the new Superman film also comes out?!

I sort of love the idea of making delicate pencil notes in the margin of whatever I'm reading (except my comic books of course.. pantang besar!), but almost never ever would. (The almost is because I'll occasionally mark things that aren't true in non-fiction books.) When I collected the quotes in some book I read back when I was young, I would read books and mark passages in pencil. I don't think the books mind.All books put up with all kinds of indignity.

Yes, it's very true. I'm not quite sure what I'll be doing tomorrow or Sunday --- probably be reading something again, and answering questions and searching for stuff. Actually, that's what I'll definitely be doing. I just have no idea what I'll be reading.

And I've certainly wondered about needing to stop keeping this journal for a while when I get deeper into the magazine: not just paddling around in the shallows of the first few issues, like I am now, but when I'm in way over my head, at the point where what's going on in the magazine is much more interesting and weird and real than anything happening in any other part of my life.

1st issue is coming out in a couple of week. Dare you people to be a critique.

Aku berharap Tuhan memberiku sayap lalu membiarkanku terbang, pulang.

Hatiku bergejolak hebat, sama seperti setahun yang lalu; saat malam membimbingku berjalan ke arah sesuatu. Membiarkan ia memberiku dian dan patuh mengikuti langkah kukuh kaki yang semakin perkasa.

Aku berharap Tuhan memberiku sayap lalu membiarkanku terbang, pulang.

Seribu wajah yang menggenang di kepalaku, satu nama yang menggema di jantungku, melebihi detak yang menginjap darah, merambat, begitu cepat.

Aku berharap Tuhan memberiku sayap lalu membiarkanku terbang, pulang

Kerana jiwa mudah menggelapar, rontaan hebat ; ingin lepas dari badan;
seperti berkemas melayang
menghambur ke arahnya :
pahlawan yang telah menyelamatkan ku dari gelap yang tak teraba

Aku berharap Tuhan memberiku sayap lalu membiarkanku terbang, pulang

Tatkala kita mendadak lahir, hadir disini. Tempat yang terasa aneh, keganjilan tak henti menyergap. Orang-orang bercerita ehwal hati; perkakas tubuh yang kuasa menampung segala-gala. Hari ini, udara begitu menyengat, debu di samping jalan yang kita lalui seolah berlumba menjelma daki. Adakah kita boleh sejenak merenung kekonyolan yang nyaris menerkam. Mereka dikagumi kerana sesuatu yang tak hadir dari kesia-siaan, pencapaian mereka, tak gentar menderita.

Sejenak saja, kuminta dari perkakas tubuhku. Hati : fahami angin jangan dengan menatap angin, fahami saja dengan rasa.

Kalau memang kita mesti terkapar, biarkan terkapar, terkapar tak selalu setali dengan takluk.

( Semangat yang tak dapat ditekan, benarbenar puncak kegembiraan penuh harapan : Dan begitulah hidup masuk kembali dengan penuh rasa kemenangan ke wadah yang tadinya bagaikan mati, masuk dengan kentara, bernafas penuh daya kekuatan dan sukar dimengerti dalam keagungannya )

Using this occasion for a few reality checks:

1. Thank you all for your support --- the fortress of solitude has really come to be a part of my days here at the studio/office. That said, unfortunately, I cannot give individual critiques of work through e-mail. I get too many of these and there simply isn't enough time in the day to do them all justice. I am late enough on the work I have on my plate and while this blog is a lot of fun to be a part of, I have limited my time on it to about an hour a day. But don't stop writing simply cause I can't take a look. Idea always finds its level and once your comment starts kicking into gear, it's simply a matter of time before you get your reply.

2. Language is a river, it's not fixed. The meanings of words change, and any rear-guard action to try and keep them meaning what you think they ought to mean is doomed. So momentarily does now mean "in a moment" as well as "for a moment" because that's how people use it, just as hopefully no longer means "in a way that's filled with hope" (as in "We walked hopefully towards the future of the comic industry") but it also means, and is mostly used to mean "I hope that", and enormity which once meant "monstrous badness" also means "enormousness" because that's how people use it … ( *^&$!!!Apa aku merepek nih?!!)

On the one hand, grumbling is pointless. Language is a river. Go back a few hundred years and many words would have shades of meaning they no longer have. Go back a little further and you'll find yourself tripped up by the most common and simple words which would mean something quite different (Silly originally meant "innocent" back in the old times, for example.)

On the other hand, I'm still going to grumble, because as a writer, whenever a word with a precise meaning loses it, I lose a tool.

And …

3. I always used to help and give advice to people. And I don't not answer problems. Now, there’s this real-life situations … JOM the comics magazine. There are several large boxes filled with magazine fan-mail I really and truly plan to answer with my editor. Part of the problem is that my time is finite. There's only one of me, and if it gets written, I wrote it.

(It's probably also fair to say that this journal now exists in the time that I used to give to friends. I send a lot fewer replies, but answer a lot more questions.)

Anyway, sooner or later I'll get a quiet day or so, and I'll settle down and write a few hundred e-mails or letters.

I have no idea why I thought this would be a good idea … but then again, I feel the need to write.

Lots of fun things waiting here in the mail for me – especially belated birthday wishes and ‘other stuff’. The ‘other stuff’ mostly about my lost-and-lost again handphone situation and my upcoming NEW comics magazine.

The word is already out. And here are the exclusives

JOM --- that’s the profound title for my magazine’s name.

p/s: please give in some feedbacks about the name, i demand something in the name of critiques everywhere.

How do you know when your book is done? Hmm. I forget who it was that said that art is never finished, only abandoned, and that's true up to a point. I'm never satisfied, but normally there's a point that feels like you've reached the end of a story, that the journey begun is now over, and another point, somewhat later, where you feel like something's been fixed and changed and polished as much as it's going to be fixed and changed and polished … not that nothing more can be done with it but that any more changes are going to make little difference to the end result and might just make it worse. So, we’ll just have to wait how this comics magazine will go from here to later.

( Right now I'm at the point where I'm suddenly embarrassed that I sent false and untrue information to people about the magazine, wish that no-one had read it and am really looking forward to trying to get the first issue done --- my deadline is late March, which seems very appropriate for this book. Mostly at this point it's a matter of writing about six or seven more article, and making a few things clearer, polishing a couple of themes until they shine. )

My Birthright (part 2)

Well, here's the much awaited hotline from my new profound cellphone number :

012-3495199

feel free to use it at any circumstances and call whenever you people think is necessary ...

p/s : if i lost this one, will never use nokia again. its a jinx i guess.

My Birthright
( Part 1 )

I am 25 years today. And that’s a quarter of a century…

I've had a lot birthdays, although it felt odd not having the absolute satisfaction there. But today’s different : authentically a rare moment.

And, for all the birthday greetings, and the support and good wishes over the years and the friendship and all, to all of you, my thanks.

I have no idea why I thought this would be a good idea.

I'm afraid it's too soon for me to know anything about being a grown up and living life to the fullest. I know I ought to write something for today so here it is.