Jumaat, Disember 31, 2004

Let’s see.

I am not entirely a fan of 2004, really. It seemed sort of strange and awkward but I like it at various points...

And I just realised I probably will post some interesting stuff coming 2005, so this is by way of being a New Year's greeting to all of you out there who read this. May your 2004 be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you all had an amazing year and met someone(s) who thinks you're wonderful, and not to forget to make some note --- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in 2005, you’d surprise yourself.

My own new year's resolution? I want to write more. There are too many stories not told, and a limited amount of time to tell them in ( but I guess the ‘malas’ factor did kicked in ). Some people who follow this blog from the beginning said they wanted less stuff around. I've spent 24 years accumulating stuff, and now can't remember why which is rather wonderful. The best thing about living, I thought, when I read my own version of a so-called ‘diary’, some years ago, watching me change, with time from the dumb old-days to the ‘restoration era’ : watching me discover how the world works ( to which I slowly become wise … wise ke? ), watching me grow and reinvent myself. The other best thing is that, confiding in that coded diary, I gradually becoming unutterably honest, and thus human, sometimes shockingly so.

I experienced a journey into manhood. *WHOAA*

I suspect that my god-given talent made me a somehow remarkable wonderer of hope, dream and the impossible. Now, if I was being somebody else, I would have be a lousy blogger, but luckily none of the people I’m writing about are going to be reading this blog whihing and claiming how vain I am.

But of course, whatever the obstacles and challenges and critiques are, I still keep
this journal. If I interpret the figures correctly, there are about less than 10 people reading it every month, which is very much predictable ( …Hmmm,aku pun taktau sebenarnya, ada ke orang baca benda-benda mengarut yang aku tulis selama ni? ). Some of you don't read my fiction and article and just like the journal. Several of you ( mostly my loyal comic buddies ), use it to try and keep track of where I am and what I'm doing.

I suppose that looking it over, it’s not that bad. I mean, I did a lot of things in 2004. There just wasn't, with the possible unevitable exception of many uneasy memories or experiences. That’s one big thing I can point to for the past 365.

Haven’t finished any books or novella yet though, ‘cos I kept reading it half-way and lost the book somewhere over unwanted distractions. Which should have been omitted on the 2004 resolution list. So I’ll stop typing this, and go and try to finish some titles ... later ... i guess ;p

2004, hoping everyone else had a safe past year.

Now 2005. Now that’s another brand new story.

A brand New Year.

Wishes and prayers to everyone out there who support, believe and still putting on that hope in me. That is something I will never forget ‘till the day everything stops and the time abruptly halts.

Khamis, Disember 30, 2004

( Made a giant list of everything I was committed to doing over the next 12 months. Some people call it RESOLUTIONS… Ooohh! Such big word it is. Never fulfill even half the list I made for the past 5 years. Then made a list of all the comic books I want to buy and read, trying to leave nothing out )

Not sure that I could have done anything had I tried, but I didn't try. As I was saying, no one's really leapt into ‘the breach’ yet, so if any of you have any favourite local comics’ you want to see burst into our market, tell me that you'd choose to support and buy them. And yesterday went in a kind of a blur. I got a bunch of workload and surprisingly, my studio manager asked me to follow him to KLCC and advised him on some comics at Kinokuya. First on the list is Alex Ross’s ‘Kingdom Come’. There were setbacks however : the title was sold-out. For an exchange, he bought ‘Superman : Red Son’ ( what if Superman landed in Soviet instead of Smallville during World War II ) and a ‘Smallville’ trade paperback. On the way home we had to stop for a bite and watch some fine looking gals walking up and down the food court. I am, on some things… a world class ‘gawker’ and when it comes to getting some absolute sightings, I'm actually travelling towards them in a car or a train or a plane made in dreamland; just shrug and go, I'll get there on time or I won't. Nothing I can do about it either way. And I don't worry. I just dream of it.

So, we made it to the office later in the evening and the whole of yesterday was not at all blur but mostly fun. And now I'm back in my cubicle, ditching my digital photography course earlier… which is more or less, a bit exhilarating and an enormous relief.

Eight years ago, I made much of my living reviewing books. As a school librarian, I haven't done it in a long time ( although I've recently seen a few quotes from my sixteen-year-old self reviewing stuff on my school magazine and gazettes, surfacing with my by-line as if they're current blurbs, proving, I suppose, that they are not entirely forgotten ), but was recently asked to review few comic books for my new magazine and this is what I felt : An obscure sense of déjà vu. I suppose I thought that book reviewing was like driving a kancil or surfing the net --- something you never forget how to do, no matter how long you don't. In reality, I'm finding, it's more like speaking a foreign language or playing a musical instrument : if you don't do it for a long time, you lose it. Not completely, and it comes back to you after a bit. But that easy, unthinking facility is gone.

So, now I just have to turn a bunch of books into an article ( ! )

And I'm in here, and they say some very nice things about my stuff ( if you're coming in late, we're really at the tip of the tail here ). Which left me really puzzled. I mean, I thought I'd be… at least to me, if not to the rest of the world, more recognisable than any other elusive comic book reviewers out there.

Apparently not.

How odd.

Rabu, Disember 29, 2004

There's some people out there who’d do anything to cross me. But some of you are really true to thyself. The fact is : that’s all the thing we need. In my mind is where I live and my mind never sleeps. No matter how much fortune or misfortune and fame or despair, by the end of the day --- all you have is yourself and no one else. I seldom questioned my existence in this life time. The more questions I ask myself, the more confusing and lost I got. Living life questioning life is a complete waste of life!

I hate hypocrisy and hypocrites alike; people proclaiming to be perfect and number one. People thinking that they're invincible to critiques. People who judged and label me by my outlook. I despise being labelled by people. Get to know me is getting to understand me.

( I'm starting to feel faintly cursed )

Got up this morning in a fine mood and Malaysia winning the 1st leg Tiger Cup semi-finals is the main factor, to be exact. Scribbled a few things in my notepad on what to write while blogging later. It was long, informative, useful and funny. I even wrote an impromptu short-essay on how to be ‘a local superhero’ and other lacky stuff. I recommended things. I philosophised. It was one of the great Blogger entries.( Oh!... aku mula terasa riak,maafkan aku).

Arrived at work around 8.15 am.

I set it to post and publish and walked into the cafeteria to grab something to eat. Then, like a character in a bad Hugh Grant flick, my friend ( three weeks old ) walked in to the office, carefully read the on-screen window with the journal in it ( but none of the other windows ) --- before it had even posted, let alone published, the entry I'd just written --- and got away with it. Then he/she wandered off, probably vaguely happy to have done something 'useful'.I ate cheerfully, crossed the hall to the office, sat down at the computer, saw what had happened, and started to express my feelings.

" Invasion of privacy," said me, wandering back. " It sets a bad example "


I'm going to have to print all the useful stuff I’ve done before. The rest of it is going to have to wait until I have some time.

So... am still waiting for 2005.

Isnin, Disember 27, 2004

( Saturday was a friends' wedding and Sunday was an event solely dedicated for kids. Fine experience from both outings; weekends never felt like weekends for the past few weeks. And 'Smallville' tasted a bit like 'The X-Files' for the last three episodes. No surprise there as the core crew are from the latter. )

PRELUDE TO 2005 : A New Year Resolution Preview

It occurred to me recently that if I were now to meet myself at the age of 12 – the age, as some know well, that has been called the Golden Age of my Comic Book collecting days – I would, I have no doubt, be an extreme fanboy to my twelve year old self.

He might be impressed by the fact that I’m a writer – but then, he knew he was going to be a comic book artist, or cartoonist. That I’m that one of a relatively rare clan, a writer who makes his living writing, would make a slight difference to my 12 year old self. He is, after all, convinced that the simple action of writing a short story and getting it published is like winning the grand prize at the end of a Quiz Show on television.

( My 12 year old self has not met any ‘real’ people at that time )

As I said, he knows he wants to be a writer at some point of his life. And, with a 12 year old arrogance that is utter and absolute, he knows what kind of an author he wants to be. He wants to be the kind of author who will someday wins recognitions and awards.

Which is to say he wants to grow up to be a fantasy or science fiction or comic book writer, and a writer of a particular kind. He wants to grow up to write the kind of story that changes how the people in Malaysia see the world. He knows there’s a difference between writing ‘locally’ and ‘internationally’, and he likes the way that some books have both of them. He wants to be H.G Wells, Asimov, or even Cricton and Aziz M.Osman(?). He wouldn’t mind being a copycat or a rip-off of somebody else. He wanted to learn. He wants to be a writer.

And I would have disappointed him. I didn’t grow up to be a writer, except possibly in the loosest most ‘story doesn’t stand for pleasure, passion and satisfaction, it stands for anything we damn well please’ sense of the word. Understand, this came as an enormous surprise to me. I was sure I was going to be a writer, as sure as anyone can be of anything. I just didn’t turn out that way… exactly as I earlier envisioned.

Most writers of fiction are dreamers, to some degree or another. We learn to teach ourselves what we need. We get in there fast and shallow and we suck the life and the juice from the subject in our own way. Then we manage to give the impression that we know everything about the subject in our writing.

I feel sorry for all the teachers who attempted to teach me the rudiments of subjects that I had no interest in. If I’d known that I’d need history and maths(fobia yang paling aku geruni!) to write with, I would have studied much harder, just as I would have paid more attention in Maths if I’d known that one day I was going to have to make sense out of my salary, KWSP, EPF, SOCSO, and other confusing financial statements.

The subject I paid most attention to in school was either BM, English and arts ( and for some particular reason, Pendidikan Jasmani ). They made a difference. It was what I was studying. I was reading all the things that was published and available, and, having finished that, I was reading everything I could find that was out of print, dusty, forgotten. I enjoyed the good books, and I enjoyed the bad books. I read everything. But most of all I looked out for and hunted down and read things that had won my heart. Because I knew it was going to be good. Not just popular good, but well-written, and wise, and that it would stretch my head into places it had not been before.

I am over 10 years older than that boy, and I have become both more blaze and more cynical about getting passionate of things that I like. I’ve won more than my share of achievements. I’ve been a critic, and have learned that some critics, like the makers of quality well-written books, do their business behind closed doors for a reason. I’ve learned that popular and democratic books are too often fickle, and easily manipulated, and no guarantee of lasting worth. Still, as individuals and as a group, writing and reading is a wonderful thing. It’s a fine thing to be a REAL writer. It’s a finer thing to be someone or achieve and win something in the long run – at least until the next morning, when you have to face a blank sheet of paper, and you find the writing no easier than it ever was – and, often, it’s harder.

But the real importance of awards is being appreciated from the people out there ( known or unknown ), I like to think, as in telling, and, more importantly; claiming that the next generations of writers, where to look, where to go, where the best writing and the coolest ideas are to be found. And after all, this is what I am are here for the whole of 2004. And let me tell you this : It is the most challenging year since ever. Ever.

Hoping that 2005 will be even bolder and more tantalizing than I'd foreseen.

I am ready for tomorrow.

Jumaat, Disember 24, 2004

( Found my Raya shoes, it seems that I misplaced the item for an undisclosed reason. But prior to the point --- praise God the Almighty : Alhamdulillah ! )

Well, yesteday was fun. Lots of happy people around, an enjoyable ( …but long ) working period and reading and answering questions from obvious source and similar resources. Now back at my desk and ready to write for a ‘ few ’ more hours, then off to the masjid for Friday prayers and lunch. I have to buckle up first for another ‘exciting’ day at work, of course. You know …if I were more ‘ awake ’, I could probably make the above sound much more interesting, and the answer to that conundrum : propose my idea for remixing passion for writing comic story or articles and working beyond the stretch of any ‘ corporate flunky ’. What I thought worked and what I thought didn't, and all that sort of stuff, but I'm still a little punchy so I won't.Oh! all right. I do whine a lot lately. And I wish things will be set in order soon and my quest to save the world a bit at a time.

You know what, I need to explain this to someone. Someone who is ‘ connected ‘ to the real world. I felt like there is someone ( ? ) That individual have exactly all the answers I wanted. I just didn't quite understand why I hadn’t make that effort to seek that person.

But then again, you never know.

If ever I get inspired into looking for that ‘ someone ’ … of course I'll post it up here in plenty of time. So far I've succeeded in saying no.

p/s : an emotional and ‘ distractive ’ Friday morning.

Rabu, Disember 22, 2004

Yesterday was the day I lost my pair of shoes ( Yup! … the shoes I specifically bought for Raya and for work ) . But don’t worry, I will not going to loose my senses. I am not under orders to mention this, and then again I’m still frustrated by the unfortunate events.

The work by the way, thus far is .... quite tiring but interesting. It wasn't just the air-conditioning and free internet connection. As an experiment, I am seeing if I can blog in-between working hours . I am using a computer which; in a few months had to be taken away from me ( … its gonna be used by other up-and-coming reporters in my department ) . Have just entered ‘the working zone’ lately, wishing devoutly that the web server will soon pick another time to misbehave. Loads and tonnes of writing to be done.

I set off very early to work from Mondays to Fridays. Karangkraf is about a stone throw away from home, so I don't expect to get there late or to be specific… intentionally late; then of course that will be a disaster for me ( have to work hard – I’m not getting any younger each time I stare those dreadful face of mine ).

Well, I think it's probably a bit early to write off a new year resolutions (… come to think about it, I better start a list right-a-way ). Which tells me that a lot of my act, and makes me suspect that finding a monologue is something limited only by my imagination. If any of you have any ideas why it's happening ( and how it can be fixed ), please let me know.

Got to get work again and find out who’s my favourite superhero of all-time.

p/s : Sometimes it can be really rather wonderful to realise that people who were your heroes when you were just a kid remain your heroes until you’re twenty-something. Thanks to all the people which tried really and very hard to understand me.

Rabu, Disember 15, 2004

( Went to the National Stadium last night : Malaysia won 2 -1 over Thailand yesterday after lagging 1 – 0 at halftime and made it to the semis; but to be frank I did not mind if Malaysia lost that match. The fight, the crowd, the drama, the “ F.R.U ” effect, the atmosphere - totally shocked and tantalized me by surprised ... one of the best in my many outings watching a football match. TEMPUR TERUS NEGARA KU MALAYSIA !!! )

Am writing like a mad thing currently, and keeping more or less up with everything except e-mail, Tiger Cup, sleeping+eating and comics. Yesterday I somehow managed to squeeze in writing a few testimonials for a few friends in Friendster. I have no idea how I did it. Maybe time is rubberier than I had thought.

Hmm. Sometimes I know when I'm writing that something's good -- there's a wonderful bubbly feeling as it hits the paper, and often it didn't exist even a moment before. Mostly I have no idea -- when I'm done I'm incredibly nervous. Sometimes I write something I like very much that utterly fails to set the world on fire, and sometimes I write something that I think is deeply flawed that many people love. Sometimes I write something that really doesn't work, and everyone else thinks it doesn't work too. Mostly I don't mind. I'm already trying to write the next thing.

p/s : … Faris ( my little bro’ ) is regaining his strength and momentum so rapidly after “ berkhatan ” last Friday; that my father asked him to stop playing football momentarily this morning. Remind me of me back then, heh!

Selasa, Disember 14, 2004

Just saw and having an exclusive sneak peek that I considered preliminary concept sketches and character design of " Kapten Malaysia " by the ever undisputable Mr. Gayour ... breath-takingly original and supremely powerful work of art.

Fascinating. People keep sending me news and well-deserved praises about the afore-mentioned “ Karangkraf Comics ”. Thank you. All of them have been supportive, sometimes in details, often in the big picture. Nik Nadzru was in the frontline with me all the way : taking virtual notes, changing ideas, arguing facts, disputing figures on countless comic reviews and previews session. He is factually correct all the way through, most of the time … I guess ( some people have had trouble with the both of us for being so fanatical - I'll see if they really mind us linking to it some other way now,heheh! In the meantime, you could try registering and telling if you like comics and seeing if that helps after the release of the comics in 2 – 3 months time ).

Never got anything to oblige at this point. I've been an avid fan and follower of Karangkraf's “ Kapten Malaysia ” since before I absolutely knew that there was really an “ original ” Malaysian superhero . I used to buy copies of Mingguan Kanak-Kanak in primary school and suggest them to my childhood clicks ( something I also used to do back then as my passion for comics starts to kick-off slowly ) until I couldn't find them any more. To be honest I think that LIGHT really got me all the attention I need. It's way out beyond astonishing. Lots of over-the-top blurbs from local comic book creators since they cancelled him but it turned out to be a “ déjà vu ” moment when you suddenly went to the place where you got to settle down and work. Its incredible I tell you.

I suspect this is going to be far too cool, and have absolutely no idea what its gonna be like …so I just have to keep my mouth shut on certain matters.

Also, an extra-ordinary meeting at Karangkraf today : all the writers, editors, staff, etc assembled for a “ confidential and top secret agenda ”. The problem seems to be that while they can “ do ” it as much as they like, it only stays OK until the next time I post something, at which point it just reverts to its natural entropic not actually working sort of state. Ah ... This of ‘course would already be telling. CRAP!!!

Oh. Right. That's a completely different matter. ( The answer, of course, is still elusive or part of the question momentarily )

Isnin, Disember 13, 2004

Meanwhile ... ( Metropolis awaits for the return of its prodigal hero! )

One of the co-writers of the next Superman film says the team is far more on track than they were when writing the " X-Men " movies. Bryan Singer is already supervising construction of the Metropolis set for " Superman Returns " in Australia. They are building a portion of Metropolis, like a major backlot that's amazing. It's, like, three intersecting city blocks, and everything is four stories tall.It will be like a permanent New York City-slash-Metropolis. He's writing the script with Michael Dougherty, recreating the team who scripted " X2 - X-Men United ". Superman film has derailed involvement with an " X-Men " sequel for the moment. Instead, the team is working on a Superman story which other writers and directors such as Kevin Smith, J.J. Abrams and Tim Burton took a stab at, but failed. The next installment of Superman on the big screen, which will star relatively unknown Brandon Routh, is expected to begin shooting in March. Meanwhile, Mr. Brian Singer is not sure about doing another comic adaptation after this mega project because Superman is his one " ultimate dream " since being a director in Hollywood.

Now that Brandon Routh and Kevin Spacey have been announced as " Superman Returns " hero and villain, the world of movie-fandom eagerly awaits for Bryan Singer to announce the casting of love interest Lois Lane. The two top contenders in recent weeks, Natalie Portman and Evangeline Lily, both had to drop out of the race. Portman because she's not interested, Lily because of her commitment to " Lost ", an ABC serial. A website produced a new list of top choices, all of them potentially interesting. " Under the Sea's " Kate Bosworth, who was also among top contenders to play Sue Storm in " Fantastic Four ", is said to be interested and considered. Elisha Cuthbert, from " 24 " and " The Girl Next Door ", who might be a little young , is also looked at. But most surprising is Romeo's Juliet, Claire Danes. Her star is on the high rise again after getting an impact on " Terminator 3 " and acclaimed indy movie " Stage Beauty ". Of course, Brian Singer might also come up with an unknown for that role as well. But you have to admit those aren't bad choices, and Routh himself must be hoping for one of those three. For those who didn't know, " Superman Returns " is eyeing a 2006 release and the title for the movie is still tentative.

p/s : so, anymore questions?...

Jumaat, Disember 10, 2004

( ...I have to admit, I am all impressed with the new BATMAN BEGINS teaser poster. Its' better this time around to be a Batman fan )

Well, we're officially looking forward to 2005. One of the most anticipated films of next year is Batman Begins, and I am excited about it as same as waiting for ' Revenge of the Sith '. With the fan's choice for director and lead ( Christopher Nolan and Christian Bale for those who have been living in a bat cave for the last year) , as well as one of the finest ensemble casts ever seen ( Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman, Ken Watanabe, Michael Caine, Liam Neeson, to name but a few ), this has every hope of erasing the stain of that oh-so-lousy Batman and Robin from our collective minds and making next year the Year of the Bat for fanboys everywhere.

And, just to prove that Batman Begins really is on its way, there's the official international teaser poster. Now you may have seen another rather dramatic picture of Batman ( ... that's the US Teaser version,guys ), staring at his toes in front of a sunset / oilfire, but this is the one that will be gracing our fair shores in the next few months. And very nice it is too : plenty of darkness, lots of menace, and more than a few flying rodents. Check out the full-size image on its' official site. And roll on Friday June 24, 2005 !

Khamis, Disember 09, 2004

Today is Induction Day for me at my new place.

Lunch with the GODFATHER of Karangkraf ( ...TUAN HAJI Hushamuddin, and that’s no spelling error! ) and with other new recruits, during which I learned many things including the joys and tribulations and current status of almost the whole company. The unexpected side effect of having a lunch with them is that I'm getting a LOT of ideas to be put inside ‘ here ’ : in my head. The induction session in between that is going very well, thank you for asking. Am in a lovely house of brainworkers, where I write in a Fox Mulders’-like-basement-level-cubicle, which is the one room I can get warm up in the morning and rock ‘n rumble... Today I also learned something about listening to other people...(after loading a few things and stuff from my ‘ bedroom office ’ to my ‘ real office ’)I wrote a story once back in 1996. I showed it to a couple of people whose opinions I respected. One sniffed and said it was facetious rubbish and he thought I should try to grow up, and one said that it wasn't very good and that he couldn't think of anywhere that would publish it. So I put it in a drawer and forgot about it. When I thought about it, which was seldom, I remembered it as facetious rubbish, and felt faintly embarrassed to have written it. It wasn't bad. The plot bits were pretty funny, the style was solid, some of it prefigured things I'd do in a story if I have the chance to publish it. It's about what fantasy is, and why I write it, and what it would mean to write fantasy if you lived in a Gothic universe. It contains lines and tales like no other. So today, after re-reading it, I ran it through the computer. It wasn't the big rewrite I'd expected to do --- some tweaking here, and tidying there. But mostly while I typed I was just proud of the nervous young man who wrote it, and wished I could have gone back in time and told him not to listen to two people who didn't like it. That he'd just shown it to the wrong two people (It was better than many things from that period that did get published.) Not sure that there's a universal lesson to be taken from that but I realised that, if I was fairly happy with what I'd done, then listening to someone who disliked it for reasons that had nothing to do with what I was trying to do and whether I actually got there or not was a deeply silly thing to do, as was deciding, because two people didn't like it, to shelve the story for ever. So now I have a fantasy story to write for a book. If a new story gets done in time then there is more work and talking and negotiating and discussing and confirming while waiting for it to hit the market. If not, it will be another pending project for me. For now, tawaqal is a good word to be put in use. Either way it'll see print maybe for the next few hundred years, a bit late for me I reckon.

Lots of interesting questions emerged in my mailbox, and no time right now to do more than a tiny handful ( ...nanti esok-esok aku jawab la ok? )

p/s : I enjoy doing this, which is the main reason for being ‘ me ’.

Selasa, Disember 07, 2004

( … read something on the papers today; commuting - on my way to work. )

Merriam-Webster Inc. said last Tuesday that blog, defined as “ a website that contains an online personal journal with reflections, comments, and often hyperlinks,” was one of the most looked-up words on its internet sites this year.

Blog will be a new entry in the 2005 version of the Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary 11th Edition. The complete list of the words of the year is available at www.merriam-webster.com/info/04words.htm

Out of there and back on the road to my office at the crack of a bit after dawn early today, and I see that my soon-to-be editor has helpfully sent me a guide in magazine/comic making and talk to me about it. There have been a lot of requests lately from people and friends online and offline to let everyone know when the new issue of the afore mentioned Karangkraf Comics comes out. And to answer that; it is safe to say it is still on a tentative date to confirm.

So yesterday I noticed; slightly surprised that I'd not posted for a couple of days, and thought that putting a journal post would be a fine thing to do of a Tuesday evening, and it would have, if only Blogger had been working but it wasn't, so I didn't ( Arghh!!! … pening aku ). I seem to have a few brain cells back, which is good, and the writing is working, and I can get warm up again ( having no head for anything except my upcoming book means getting into the “ Matrix ” realm again,which I quote-unquote from a friend. )

Someone, as usual like yesterday and the day before asked me a question.

He asked : I was just wondering what you felt was more important, the story or the writing. It seems that sometimes authors who are known for their writing style get more respect than authors who are known for their storytelling ability.

HAHAHA. ( laughter explodes! )

I think it's like asking which part of a song you like best, the words or the tune, to be honest. In a perfect world, you shouldn't be able to take them apart. I like different styles of writing (and I like writing in different styles), but if the writing's being used in order to tell a story, then I'd rather it didn't get in the way of reading the story. But then, I like to be able to hear the words of songs ... like M.Nasir for instance. I discovered, he practically didn't take that long to make any of his songs, but he still got a lot of actual song writing done, and also did most of the melody and lyrics draft for an album. ( … its been quite a while since I last hear any of his songs, the last time was “ Suatu Hari di Hari Raya ” ). Hope that explain things a bit ( tak paham, cuba la try tanya lagik. Aku cuba bagi kau lagi tak paham,kahkahkah!!! ).

Feeling rather like a circus juggler right now : too many things to get done, too many deadlines being pushed as far as they will go and a hair beyond, and I just wind up concentrating on finishing things, one project at a time.

Later … later.

Khamis, Disember 02, 2004

What an odd thing to tell people ( A story of a ' lost ' counterpart ).

I’m sure it’s true for him, mind me; but deciding that it’s true for the rest of the world is a leap of faith I wouldn’t have made, much like deciding that everyone in the world needs to write using my lucky brand of pen or it won’t be any good. In my experience people need different things to write. I like comics. I more or less need comic. Its my drug. Given the choice I wanted something with a very,very interesting package, and I like comics with vision as it is. The first time I ever realised that other people weren’t like me was in conversation with this friend I met way back ’93 when I was in form one, about ten years ago, when he mentioned that he had to have comics too, but couldn’t have anything fully satisfying in a single issue.

I know him as a fanboy who need comics, and a dreamer who need silence, and a self-proclaimed geek who don’t honestly care what’s going on around him ( hehe!… sorry about that mate ). We often use comics to set the mood we wanted, and I use our so-called ‘addiction’ to make the place we lepak pleasant enough to get us to hang-in there and talk and debate and argue and fight for hours and hours ‘till the wee hours of the morning ( Hah!Those were the days ). We used to do this almost everyday and at that time : jobless junkies we are. For extra company, there's his brother which I dubbed “ Sloppy Joe ” ... still hanging in there I hope. I don't think I could get that to work any longer now.

Ten years and I screwed up.

It's started to make me wonder and smile with regret (?), and I like spending time with an avid fanboy and a total comic freak. And feeling like I'm the one person ever to regret the stupid things I did to all my friends --- from the beginning ‘till the end. This has an easy, conversational sort of style, and I'm learning things. Having said that, I'm not yet through. You'll know when I am. I'll let off fireworks or something.

We finally did it, man! : … and I send my regards and kudos to you as a true and sincere token of respect for our friendship.



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